Estrogen As The Elixir. How Having A Hysterectomy Fired Up My Creativity.

April 28th, 2019

A friend recently wrote me and said, “Hol, when are you going to write a new blog post, I am sure you have something to say. When are you going to write something new, not that I am stalking you?!” I laughed. I hear from this friend every now and then and I have thought about writing one, but not so sure my audience really wants to hear this specific topic, but why not? It’s kind of interesting.

In January of this year, January 17th to be exact, I had a total hysterectomy. This was really unexpected in a lot of ways. For years I had dealt with endometriosis, but thought that was over and I was surgery free. I had had 7 surgeries for endometriosis. It was awful. At one point, endometriosis brought me to my knees until I went to a TCM doctor who gave me powerful herbs. Last August, I went into the hospital and thought it was my back that was causing the pain. My back wasn’t the culprit, I had a huge fibroid that was sitting on nerves in my back. I can honestly say, I have never in my life had pain like that. I wanted to die. I couldn’t even get out of bed without help. No doctor figured it out, I did. I kept having MRI’s of my back while in the hospital and up came a large mass in my uterus. Why was that not being talked about? Why was every male orthopedic doctor coming in to my room to talk about just my back? Why was no one considering this pelvic mass and what was it? It was staring the doctors and myself in the face and not even being considered. The lower back just showed a bulging disc, so I was thought to be fine and PT was recommended. I was patted on my head, given about 5 medication scripts to fill and told to go for physical therapy.

Looking distended and pregnant, I went to a GYN two days after getting out of the hospital, which was a major feat to get in so quickly and I was told that this mass was a fibroid that was the size of a grapefruit. As it turns out, it was larger than that. I waited until January to have the hysterectomy, after the holiday season and I also had to have my appendix removed and remaining ovary. The aftermath was a shock and I was not put on any hormones and felt hot and nuts. I walked through my apartment with shorts on due to major hot flashes and full on sweat. After a month of nothing, I finally went to the surgeon and said, “Yo, are you going to give me hormones, or what? I have been doing research, I see that the patch is the best way to go.” He called in the patch and I had to adjust to it and boy it “is” an adjustment.

After severe crying, feeling like I had drank a pot of coffee on this new patch and not being able to think or find words, I realized that I was on too high a dose and had to cut it down. You really are left trying to tinker and figure this out on your own.

Anyone who has followed anything going on with me knows these past couple of years have not been easy. I had wrist surgery in 2015, my thyroid removed in 2016 and this this year. My body has taken a hit, BUT….I feel better hormonally and I have noticed that creatively speaking, I got my designing mojo back.

Why? Because unlike before the surgery, I have a steady stream of hormones pumping through my system. For years, I had estrogen that was going up and down due to being in my forties, but now I have the same amount, for the most part, day in and day out. They say it takes a year after a hysterectomy for the body to fully adjust. For some it takes longer. It’s been 3 months for me and I am not perfect by any means, but I have noticed I am much happier and I feel super creative.

I love that. I love that I feel so creative because honestly, for the past few years, I feel like a switch had been turned off after my thyroid was removed. It just tanked my hormones and my system. The HRT, or hormone replacement therapy has given me back what I need and I feel like I am on an anti-depressant. I feel happier. One hormonal system plays off of another and the thyroid being removed caused the ovaries to shut down.

This surgery was a major one and my immune system has taken a hit. I am tired and what is the biggest side effect of this surgery? Pain and not being able to sleep until almost morning. I despise it, but there is nothing I can do to sleep. I am just going with what my body wants and still completing what tasks I have at hand, just on a different schedule than everyone else. So, if you see me posting at 4 am, just know that yes, that’s where it is for me right now until things calm down and that may take awhile. I am now on hormones and my body needs to adjust.

I have come to accept that as long as I get the job done, it really doesn’t matter if my time is upside down. I have always been a night owl and so was my sister and my Aunt Sue…I am just much worse now post surgery.

My biggest reason for writing this is that I wish I had done this years ago and because I find it quite interesting how estrogen can play such a major role in being creative, at least for women. I had been told with having endometriosis that having a hysterectomy would be the answer and I never wanted to do it. I was scared. It is a big surgery, a major one and for everyone it is different, but I still feel like me, I still feel like a woman. Being a woman and having your uterus and ovaries removed is not the end of the world. But then again, many women go into a deep depression. I did while not being on HRT, but being on it has been life changing.

In fact, I am grateful to have this zest and desire to really create come back full force. I guess all it took was just a little bit of estrogen. Or, a whole lot more of what I wasn’t getting prior to the surgery.

Now if only I could sleep. It’s 6:30 in the AM and I have been up all night. To sleep, healing even more in time and being creative. I hope to have it all at once!

So, to the guy who wanted me to write a new blog, I bet you weren’t expecting this! Guys can’t handle hearing about hysterectomies. They sometimes can’t handle the common cold. They got nothing on women!

To all you women facing a hysterectomy or thinking about HRT, it makes sense to be scared. And to women who went through menopause and felt fine, that’s awesome, but I need to say that having gone through menopause naturally is totally different than going through surgical menopause. Surgical menopause causes one to go straight into menopause in 24 hours. It’s a big difference. Your ovaries are still pumping out estrogen and calcium even if it’s minimal. For those who have a hysterectomy, we have to supplement calcium, vitamin D, magnesium and many of us have to take hormones.

Having said that, it’s still worth it. To being more creative and happier!