Happy Anniversary, “Spitfire Designs Jewelry!” Eight years!

October 17th, 2012

Pain.  Pain causes musicians to write the best music.  The music we can relate to.  It fuels the fire of creativity.   How about Adele?  Elton John?  And one of my personal favorites….get ready!….George Michael.  I love him.  LOVE.  Oh, C’mon…you do too!

 

 

I have always wanted to tell my story, yet shied away from the idea of having people really know my life, my vulnerabilities and at times what I have thought of as my flaws.  Flaws that I had no control over.  Flaws?  Screw that.

For years, since the age of 18, I have dealt with Fibromyalgia, immune problems and Endometrosis.  Endometriosis really put me under for years and at the age of 24, I was told I wouldn’t be able to have kids.  I decided to not dwell on not being able to have children.  There were so many other things I wanted to do and children were never my idea of what makes one complete. I wanted a career.  Ever since I was a child, I dreamed of being a powerhouse. Due to constant surgeries and health issues, I had to start and stop college. I wanted to finish college, after having had to take a leave of absence several times.  A career for me was always number one; over a guy, over a child, over everything.

This was no easy gig, living with pain and uncertainty.  Plus, my father had passed away a week before going off to college.   My father’s death and my being ill turned my world upside down and at a young age, I had to forgo what other college kids were doing; partying, having fun and living life in a superfluous nature.

I continued plugging away at college throughout the years, supported myself, worked in radio at Greater Media in Philadelphia for 4 years and made a life for myself, but it was never what I really wanted.  I wanted to do something where I felt like I was really utilizing my talents.   I always knew I was creative.  I always knew that I had it in me to do something awesome, but what?  What was it?  Am I always going to have these half ass jobs that are semi tolerable, but at the same time I snicker at them?  Am I going to be one of those people who talks about how they hate their job, but hey, it pays the bills?  Ugh.  Just shoot me.

In 2000, I became a journalist for a British newspaper.  I loved it, but the owner of the paper was obsessed with me and he was a nut job.  I moved to San Francisco, enjoyed the easy breezy free spirited life style and he started stalking me.  From England, mind you.  It was not a good time.  But Cali was and I loved it.  I fit right in with the artists, the free thinkers and the other transient people who needed to go through something to get to where they are today.  I lived with personal chefs, a holistic doctor, hippies, a dog named Cabo, fleece and fog.  I took up yoga, I danced on the beach and I drove down 280 to Santa Cruz with a smile on my face.

San Francisco is outrageously expensive and I didn’t really want to keep shopping at the Goodwill.  I finally moved back to Philadelphia and felt lost, absolutely lost and somewhat worthless.  I wasn’t married, I was in my 30’s, I was without a job due to my crazy boss driving me nuts and me having to jump ship.  What the hell was I going to do?  I settled for something easy and yet fun; Pottery Barn.  I liked it, but I wanted to be the stylist of Pottery Barn.  I wanted to do what I knew was in me; art, design, creating.  I went to college originally for fashion design and that artistic passion I had was screaming to be heard.

My mom kept telling me that I needed to start my own business.  “You need to do something where you have control of your hours, where you are your own boss.”   It sounded good.  I heard her, but never really thought it would happen.  And then….

A year later, I started making jewelry and that was it.  That was 8 years ago.  Yes, that’s right!  Did I ever think I would be here?  No.  I thought I was going to end up working at Rite Aid as a cashier.  No disrespect to anyone working at Rite Aid, but it was/is not for me.

Why do I love my job?  I love the hours.  I call the shots.  I can choose to make it rich, or not.  I don’t have to take on a difficult client if I don’t want to and I am the boss.  That works well for me and my independent nature.  And it also works well for me because I still have some health issues.  I need that extra space and time.  I need to take a nap or work at 3 AM if that works for me.   But, it’s bigger than that.   Every piece of jewelry I make is mine.  It’s part of me.  I let out a part of me when I make it and sometimes, not always, that part of me is pain.  I still live with Fibromyalgia, the Endometrosis is gone, but I am tired often.  Those are the times when creating gets me through the most.  I release my pain by making a necklace, a bracelet or a pair of earrings.  Or, I make something out of pure joy and happiness!   Every piece I make tells a story.  You may not know what it is, but I do.  No one can take that away from me.  Not even an ailment.

So yes, 8 years ago, Spitfire Designs Jewelry came into action.  And Spitfire Designs Jewelry is me.  We are one in the same.  The brand is me, the tags are me, the pieces are me and whomever owns my pieces, has a little piece of me.  And yet I am so much more than a jeweler.

We have all heard this before, how you can take lemons and turn them into lemonade.  Well, it’s true.  You have the power, you just have to figure how to harness it.   I am not going to tell you it’s easy and all of that happy BS.  That’s a lie.  Not everyone can do it and that’s ok.  “Live your dream!”  It’s not that simple.  You have to have a talent to live your dream and some people spend a lifetime trying to find out what their talent is.

I have always “liked” myself.  I always thought I was cool because I wasn’t like anyone else and I walked to the beat of my own drum, but I can finally say that I “love” myself.  I like my life, with my work sometimes happening at 3 AM.  I love my ability to make a difference when for years, I questioned what my purpose was.  I questioned my worth.  How sad.  Perhaps age has switched that up for me.  Your worth is not defined by what you do, but by who you are.  Who are you?

I am so happy that I design jewelry, but also, I have designed a life that works for me.  To live my life in whatever capacity works for me and to tell this story and be happy.  “Whatever works.”  That’s my motto.  Thanks, Lillian.  You have taught me that.

We all have a story.  So tell it and make some lemonade in the process!   Speak your truth because honestly, your story is better than fiction.

Happy 8th anniversary Spitfire Designs Jewelry!  You rock and you always have.