Time Out In Vermont- Time Waits For No One.

February 12th, 2020

Today, as I was sitting in a tube otherwise known as an MRI machine, I said to myself, “If this is a herniated disc, it’s alright. I am alright and I don’t regret having gone skiing.” Life is for living. You have to do things now. I spent almost two weeks in Vermont in pain, but I don’t regret it. I am 49. It blows my mind to think that in twenty years, I will be 70. That is crazy. Yes, I went skiing and took a major fall. I should say, I fell three times. But, it brings me to why I am writing this; while I took a three week respite in Vermont, I learned some things that I already knew, but that keep repeating in my head.

I took three runs on an intermediate slope in New Hampshire and I was fine. The fourth run, I made a bad decision. My legs were tired, I was tired, but I went down a diamond slope and became fearful and couldn’t take the incline and I tried to slide the whole way down after I fell three times. Ice and slush. It was awful. Panic took over, as I stared down the mountain that was pretty much vertical. I couldn’t slide. This wasn’t Blue Mountain. This is a mountain where it takes a good half hour to 45 minutes to get down the mountain. I had to put on my skis and face my fear and just take it slow. I made it down but 4 days later, my back went totally out and steroids and meds came to the rescue which pretty much made it so that I had to stay in Vermont, like it or not.

I was told a few years back by an orthopedic surgeon, “You can never ski again. You have herniated discs.” It never sat well with me and while I was up in New England I said, “I am going.” I am so glad I did. My back hurts, but I will be okay. I will go again, too, only this time I will stay on the intermediate course. As long as you keep moving and don’t give up, that’s all that matters. My trip to Vermont woke me up. It had been twelve years since I had been there to visit my family. I saw them in New Hampshire over the years, but Vermont is a different state.  It’s nothing but mountains and it’s stunningly beautiful. Mountains, rivers, and no snow. This time. Yes, I had already mentioned, there was hardly any snow. It’s interesting what can change in twelve years. It used to snow constantly. The last several times I went there, every year it snowed several inches a week. It used to be this beautiful winter wonderland. Now, snow is sparse.

Many of the restaurants I had been to the last time I was in Vermont are now closed.  Many of the stores that I frequented are now closed. Life had changed. On top of that, my cousin is no longer in her 60’s. She goes to bed early instead of at her normal time of 11 pm. It shook me up to realize this cousin of mine is no longer the same and I wish I had made it to Vermont sooner. Plus, her son, my cousin who was my age, was alive the last time I was in Vermont. Now, he is with the angels. Even though we didn’t talk about it, I could feel the loss. Her loss. Our loss. Matt was so smart and so kind. Her first born is no longer here and that has taken a toll on her. In spite of her silence, he was ever present. And, back in 2008, the last time I was in Vermont, we went and bought their dog, Lucy. Lucy was a puppy. Now, she is older, slower and has a hard time climbing stairs. It was twelve years too long.

My point is we put things off, we take things, people and places for granted and we think they will always be there. Vermont is always there. This person will always be there. You never know. The very things you put off may not be there for you later. Don’t wait until tomorrow, take risks, treat people how you want to be treated and don’t take life for granted. Your life, anyone’s life. It’s all so precious. We all know that, right? We’re not getting younger and none of us are getting out of here alive. In my old age (insert laugh), since I am realizing in twenty years I will be 70, I only want the best people in my life. The good ones. The friends that are like family, the people that make me laugh, the passionate one’s that curse, or bring joy.

That’s why, when one of my longtime forever friends called me tonight, (which he rarely ever does) with some sad news and I told of some sadness, he asked me if we were still on for seeing “Rage Against The Machine” this summer. I said yes, even though he wants lawn seats. I hate lawn seats. It’s “Rage Against The Machine,” we need to be in the pit with Doc Marten’s on! But, he is one of my closest friends and it’s not about the music sometimes. It’s about who you go to see the music with because without the people, the music just doesn’t sound the same. So, to going to Jersey and sitting on the lawn just so I can be with one of my closest friends, a guy I don’t see often enough and well, we need to change that because life is too short.